Wow. That's all that needs to be said.

I went to my first service, it wasn't bad at all. They taught on Luke 15:11-32 about the lost son who came home.

20:So he got up and went to his father.But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.21"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.22"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.


I took alot in from it, it helped alot. Andy prayed for me and the first time in a long time I felt peace and love. It was weird, James gave me the video at the bottom to listen to. I guess I won't be running away after all my plan kinda fell through anyways. All I can do is pray for my mom right now, yes I said it I'm praying. Haha, its kinda cool, but I don't know how long it will last. Hopefully forever, but nothing lasts forever. I don't think I'm saved quit yet, but its a process I'll get there one day. I may even get to join the dance ministry that would make everything complete. Texas really is not that bad I meet new friends, a great home, and now the best thing that is happening to me.

Decisons

The party wasn't that bad, I forgave Andy. She really didn't lie, she really is in a dance crew. Just not the kind I'm use to, but its whatever. I meet a few new people, and there pretty cool. They convinced me to go to youth group with them. I don't know what I am thinking, but hopefully it will turn out right. I really just hope that there not all on my jock about this whole God thing. Grandma and I have been getting a long a little better, she made cookies and we stayed up talking last night. I didn't want to come out and tell my grandma half the stuff she asked, so I did what I do best, lie. Jason promised me if I went he would write me a rap, plus Kylie is dancing or "ministering" as they like to call it. I'm not going to lie, I kind of am excited. These people have treated me with respect and I didn't even have to earn it. Makes me feel like I have something going for me in this world. Anyways, on a side note that thing I call my mother called the other day. She was all like "Hey, I miss you. How is your grandma? Love you, blah blah blah." I told you I learned how to lie from my mom. It was a sad excuse to see if I would help bail her out of jail. The weight of her mistakes should not be carried on my shoulders, but somehow it always is. She doesn't understand I don't want that life anymore, but I'm going to have to life it a few more weeks until I help her out. I owe it to her, even though she didn't raise me to be "perfect." She did teach me a lot about life skills and everything else. Plus, I would feel extremely guilty if I let her rot in that jail cell for three more years. I have a plan, Jersey shore here I come once again. I'll move in with my old friend, and somehow make the money for my mom. There is not a doubt in my mind I will miss it here, but I have to do this.

Are you kidding me?

Andy is the biggest liar I have ever meet in my life, well besides me of course. The whole oh I’m a street dancer come join my crew, is apart of the lame church my Grandma goes to. Living here is going to be more of a challenge, if they’re going to play that kind of games. I guess my grandmother taught Andy in bible school, what a joke. I don't care what they say I’m not going to that church. Its not that I don't believe in God, but what the point? My family is a bunch of screw-ups look at my mom she grew up in church her whole life. That ended up great huh? Don't try to out smart Haylee Lohan, I swear I’ll come back ten times harder. James is the church rapper I soon found out too, wow. I really don't care about that, he is still a fine young man. Today, my grandma is having a little get together to introduce me to some of the youth. Can you shoot me now? All the conversations are going to be like "Are you saved?" What has God done in your life?" As soon as they ask those, the crap is going to hit the fan just wait. Ugh, I’m starting to realize that maybe; just maybe I miss my mom. At least she would never put me in that situation not that she would ever even care, but still. The best part is James will be there, I think I'll just talk to him. He'll probably be rapping showing off or something, but its all good. We haven't done anything, but talk its like I throw myself out there, but he doesn't take the opportunity. One thing is for sure Texas boys are way different than the jersey shore man-whores. I'll upload a picture to show you who Jason and Andy are.

That was Andy on the right with another girl from there dance crew.

Thats Jason he looks kind of funny since he is rapping in the zone, but he is still hot!

Life

I honestly, don't even know why I'm blogging. Being under lock down creates major boredom. The name is Haylee, you don't know me so don't act like you do. You can say, I'm very strong willed. I don't care if you like what I write, I write the truth my life not yours. I've done and seen things most 17 year old will never imagine in there life. I grew up along the Jersey shore, with my mom. I really don't have a dad he is out somewhere picking up women and shooting up. Maybe that's how my mom and him meet, and some drug party blowing down. I never knew the real reason why my parents slip, they just did, when you grow up where I live you don't ask questions. My mother taught me everything I know from lying to get out of a situation to creating the very situation you need to get out of. Of course, she is locked up now for drugs of course. I told you my "dad" and her were the perfect Hollywood couple. I just moved down to Ft. Worth Texas with my grandma, this town is nothing but hicks and cowboys, yee-haw. The only great thing about this place are my two new friends Andy and Jason. Andy is a street dancer she is a part of a crew called Fuzion. I haven't really heard anything except they go hard. I promised her I would bring heat, dancing is my passion. Jason, on the other hand is Andy's older brother. He raps, and he is totally fine. He is the reason why Texas is so hot, and the reason why I'm on lock down. I got caught sneaking in after having a long talk, or something like that, with him. My Nazi grandma don't know that little detail, but somethings don't have to be mentioned. My grandma is my mom's mom, but there completely different. Grandma is some religious bible thumper who is always like WWJD. My mom is my mom not much more needed to be said. I got that audition I need to be getting ready for, so later players keep it real.

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